Okay, so a friend of mine self-published her first in a series of YA novels. And I’ve been trying hard to write a glowing review, but that ain’t gonna happen.

I’m not going to mention her name or the title of this “greatest series of all time” to save her some pain.

The problem is simple. She’s not a person who takes advice from others. Well, that and she’s cheap. Therefore she didn’t hire an editor of any kind… Come-on girl, even Stephan King uses editors.

The cover of this “Harry Potter kind of series” should have a big red “watch for falling cliches” label on the cover.

It has a pirate queen. She’s from Ireland. Her long time bestie is from Scotland – handsome and charming of course.

Que unrequited love.

Then there’s that bit about this pirate being someone special, but not knowing anything about her parents. -Shades of “Star Wars.” I know they weren’t the first, but they made the most money doing it.

This is followed by seven magic orbs that the bad guy already knows about. -If the bad guys are so damn smart, why do they always lose?

STOP YAWNING! Now pay attention.

It’s self-published at a press I’ve never heard of and can’t find any mention of in Google. It had proofreaders, but no actual editor(s). Except for correction of a couple of misspelling and a bad line break this is a first draft.

Next, it’s a large print trade paperback (8 1/2 by 5 1/2), with maybe a couple of hundred words on a page, with a total of 275 pages, selling for $14.99 on Amazon.

If she wasn’t someone I’d known for twenty plus years I’d never have paid that much for a skinny trade-paperback.

I can sum my review of this mess with the last line, “‘Impending war.!’ She uttered.” Okay, so it’s a young adult novel, right? Well, just ask any YA and you’ll find they’ve never used the word “impending” in their lives. A simple “War!” would have been more effective. ‘Cus everyone knows that the last phrase predicts the future. So you don’t have to beat us over the head with it.

On top of that, it has to be the flattest last line I’ve ever read. Where’s the tension? Where’s the buildup to the next book? And why in the name of all that’s holy did she use the word “uttered?” Breathed, whispered, screamed, or any of a thousand other words that convey emotion would have been preferable.

But, having said all that. The absolutely most egregious offense is the cover art. The cover art creates our first impression of a book, especially a fantasy/ adventure novel, and I wouldn’t put something that bad on the cover of a child’s book.

I’m still trying to get through this thing and I got as far as page 9 when this description caught my attention.

“She stood almost six feet tall, muscularly feminine build with a mental presence harmonious with her appearance.”

“Harmonious with her appearance.” In a YA novel???

Mary, mother of God. Oh, nevermind. I’ll get through it… Someday, maybe.

Okay. Now on to real life. If you’re going to go through all the fuss and bother to write a your first novel, you need an editor or series of editors, especially if you’re going to self-publish. Because what your mind sees as you write is rarely what other people see as they read. (A mainstream publisher will provide the necessary editors)

There are development editors that look at your overall manuscript, meaning, characterizations, vocabulary, structure, and style. For your first book this is the guy you want.

Copy editors fine tune your copy. They check for consistency, grammar, fact check, anomalies, and the like.

And then there are proofreaders. They check for missing punctuation, grammatical errors, and even formatting.

Here’s a price list for independent editors on the Editorial Freelancers Association site.

And here’s a bunch of useful information on getting published by Blake Atwood over on The Write Life.

I found Reedsy, an independent publisher, via Barnes and Noble, and they offer a number of useful services. None of them are free, but you get what you pay for.

I’ve been writing, editing, and proofreading my own copy and the only sign of improvement is that I now get rejection letters instead of being ignored.

At the end of the day only you can decide if you’re willing to pay or not. But while I think hiring an editor(s) is a good idea, there’s no guarantee they’ll get you published by a mainstream publisher. And while there’s no guarantee you’ll ever sell anything, no matter how well edited, if you self-publish. But I can pretty well guarantee that if you don’t get somebody to edit your copy, you’ll have a problem child on your hands.

I’m sure there’s someone out there who’s getting along just fine without ever having anyone else read and critique their work, but I’ve never met them.

And for God’s sake get some decent artwork.