Aging less than gracefully

Author: rich (Page 1 of 2)

Tachycardia

I’m sitting here waiting for a callback from my pulmonologist. Partly because my pulse hit a little over 150 then dropped back down to 75 in about 15 minutes. Then I had a second attack an hour later. It seems that one or more of the blood clots in my lungs have moved to my heart. Oh, happy days. Now I get to worry about a stroke.

At any rate, I’m supposed to get an echocardiogram but I have no idea where to go, I’m told I need to RSVP. How do I do that if I don’t know who to RSVP to???

I like my doctor. He’s old school, complete with suit and tie, and a stethoscope poking out of his pocket. He reminds me of the doctors I had growing up – yes, I know I’m showing my age. He’s also pretty laid back making it easy to relax around him.

The paperwork says to check with their patient portal, but the patient portal just flat sucks. It looks like it was written by someone’s favorite nephew, not a professional. You need to apply for access… I think. But my request has been ignored. –Or maybe their programmer’s mommy has grounded him.

Yes, I’m being hard on the programmer, but I’ve seen this sort of thing written by high school students that was much better. They don’t even tell you what they want, they just give you a series of choices with no explanation.

God, I hate dealing with new doctors with different ways of doing things.

Yup. I’m rapidly becoming one of those crotchety old dudes.

Ah well, I guess I’ll quit bitching and wait quietly like a good boy.

Gravel in my lungs

Okay, so I went to the hospital and was diagnosed with pulmonary embolism. In other words, my CT scan showed my lungs were full of small blood clots.

The E.R. doctor said something about finding the source and removing it. But when I got a room and mentioned it to my new doctor he said something like “he’s an ER doctor.” Instead, he started me on a heparin drip, kept me there for a few days, and then sent me home with a prescription for Eliquis.

I started out thinking that it was some kind of miracle drug, but all of a sudden I couldn’t breathe again. My oxygen levels were fine, just like they were when I went to the hospital. So I went to urgent care and they X-rayed my lungs and rather than send me back for another CT scan they tried a nebulizer. That helped a bit so I got a prescription for an inhaler. This helps a bit so I guess I don’t have to go back to the hospital. This is a good thing.

One thing that stood out to me was the doctor’s comment about this being caused by being too sedentary. Which is not good since I can’t use my treadmill because I feel short of breath. — So, I can’t breathe, because I can’t exercise, or something like that. By the time the subject came up, I was dressed with one foot out the door. Needless to say, I wasn’t paying a lot of attention.

Now, I have an appointment with yet another pulmonologist on Friday.

God this is getting old.

More hospital B S

This is chicken Caesar salad.

Of course, the Parm tastes like the stuff that came in the round green box we used to eat before we knew better.

I know it’s supposed to be cold, but I swear the chicken was so cold it was crunchy.

On a different note; this is a heavy blanket… According to the hospital at any rate.

If it was any thinner it would be tissue.

I decide when to put on the blanket (which, surprisingly, does help) by watching the thermostat in my room when it hits 71 it’s time. This “thermostat” has nothing to do with the a/c unit, but it does let you know when the room is getting cool. (you know you’re officially “bored out of your mind” when you find yourself watching the thermostat.)

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. If you have visitors they need a secret code to get in. It’s your first initial, last initial, two numbers, and then your room number. I’ve met security and I’m not sure if they’re just not smart enough to deal with anything more complicated or if they’re not paid enough to care.

Hospital food

Well, once again I’m laying in a hospital bed with a heparin dip. I hadn’t give my pulmonary edima so much as a passing thought. I mean, after ten plus years without a single symptom who expects it to pop back in for a visit.

One definite improvement over my last stay is my night shift menu. The hospital made a deal with the cafeteria so some patients can order a cheeseburger and fries.

I’ve been trying to stick to a low fat diet, so a mediocre hamburger and french fries was an amazing treat.

I really must fall off the wagon more often. When you live on fish, chicken and salad beef is worth it’s weight in anything.

Bad news. The good meal is only available for late checkins. Rats.

I spoke to my doctor and I’ll be here a while for more tests and lost sleep. – Last time I went through this I got bills from doctors I never saw and for lab work that was never ordered. Yes, they made a few bucks but only because it was cheaper than my hiring a lawyer.

Now I have something to look forward to.😆

Hardware Store Guitar

I know I’ve mentioned this hardware store Guitar before but I came across some photos that show more details.

Here’s the guitar.

Guitar that looks like the parts came from a hardware store

All that metal is sheet aluminum. And we mustn’t forget the light-switch rockers.

Rocker switches

Rt

Metal tabs

I don’t know what kind of pickups they are, but they’re kinda fugly.

Pickups

The sound is thin and, until I clean things, scratchy, but I think I’ll keep her. Doesn’t every guitar player want at least one seriously weird git-fiddle?

License plate readers

This article in the intercept on the use of License plate readers by HOAs should bother you — big time.

The readers are, for the most part, unregulated. Which means, that already nosy HOA, can now record and keep track of all your visitors, their names, their addresses, the make and model of their car, and all of your comings and goings. All without any sort court order. After all, they’re the HOA, and they’re not being nosy little tin-pot dictators, they’re trying to protect you… Ha!

In case your curious how they do this, here’s an example of how it’s done in the State of Nevada.

You can find a vehicle owner in Nevada if you know the vehicle’s license plate number. To do so, you need to conduct a license plate search through the Nevada DMV or third-party license plate lookup service. Before the Nevada DMV issues license plates, vehicle records and vehicle owner information are obtained from vehicle registrants and maintained in a database. Hence, by searching DMV records using a license plate number, it is possible to find the owner of the vehicle

Nope, I don’t think there’s a snowball’s chance in hell of maintaining your privacy without going completely off the grid. And then your neighbors, no matter how distant, will gossip about you, leading to some news program wanting to interview you. This in turn will tell the entire world where you are… So much for privacy.

Birders are weird

Birders are weird.

I was out at the wetlands and ran into a couple of birders discussing a sparrow they’d seen.

savannah sparrow on bush
One of my pics of a Savannah sparrow

It looked like a Savannah Sparrow, but one of them was pointing to a picture in his copy of Sibley and practically shouting that it was a bunting.

I pulled out my phone and snapped a pic then pulled up my copy of Merlin bird ID to identify the little bugger… It was a Savannah Sparrow.

This guy’s response was that the picture was no good and it was a “fuckin’ bunting.”

I asked if he knew what kind of woodpecker this was to distract him and get him to calm down.

ladder-backed woodpecker with head in hole
According to the park ranger, this is a ladder-backed woodpecker

He insisted that it was a sapsucker, not a woodpecker. He was wrong, but I certainly wasn’t going to argue with him. I simply thanked him and got as far away as I could without actually running.

The problem with Sibley’s is that the pictures are teeny-tiny artists’ renderings, not photos. -Not that photos that small would help my tired old eyes.

At the end of the day, birders are not always calm and peaceful, some of them are as wacko as anyone you’ll ever meet.

No wonder I hate to leave the house.

Hummingbird

I saw this little guy in the garden this morning and heard him happily chirping away as he moved from blossom to blossom on the bottlebrush.

Hummingbird

It’s strange that I’ve never heard a hummingbird chirp before. In fact, I didn’t know that they could chirp.

And the reason for this post? Well, the news is depressing, the pain is making me crazy, and the doctors I’ve dealt with lately are a bunch of gibbering idiots.

Rather than trying to find out why my legs are a fucking mess they sent me to wound care. Who now come to my house three days a week and change my bandages. Which changes nothing.

The system is such a rolling cluster fuck that they won’t give you pain meds without forcing you to jump through a bunch of hoops while trying not to cry.

The whole world is fubar and this little guy made me smile. So, maybe it will at least lighten somebody else’s day.

Bugs in the yard

Bugs I found in the yard. (I think I’ve been stuck inside for too long.)

Anyhow, I went outside to water what little grass I have and noticed an interesting bug… Yes, I said “interesting. bug” – God I’m bored.

At any rate I thought I’d post a few of the critters we tend to ignore… If we see them at all.


First we have a white praying mantis. Whether it’s an albino or just a normal variant I don’t know.

white praying mantis

Here’s a mantis that’s the traditional green color, but it’s only a bit over three quarters of an inch long.

green praying mantis

This little wolf spider is one of my favorite critters. It’s around a quarter of an inch long, but it can jump a foot or maybe a foot and a half at a time.

A lot of these are brightly colored, with blues or greens, but this one is brown on brown. It’s also too small to bite through your skin so it’s fun to handle.

tiny wolf spider

This tiny hunter is a cute little lady beetle that hunts things like aphids.

lady beatle hunting aphids
lady beatle

These are the same critters you buy online to help control garden pests.


And here’s a guy with ambition. This little ant rolled a seed that’s almost the same size as he is more than ten feet across the patio.

Yup, it was fun to watch… For about twenty seconds.

ant moving a seed that is bigger than it is

I know this is boring, but it showed me the need to get outside. Even if it’s only to breath the air.

Because even a little smog is better than sitting in the house with no sunlight and recycled air.


One last photo.

This guy is the reason I had so few critters in the house… Except, of course, for the ones he brought in.

Cat

If he looks kind of scruffy it’s because he was the only cat I’ve ever met who hated to be brushed.


TTFN

Self-published YA novel

Okay, so a friend of mine self-published her first in a series of YA novels. And I’ve been trying hard to write a glowing review, but that ain’t gonna happen.

I’m not going to mention her name or the title of this “greatest series of all time” to save her some pain.

The problem is simple. She’s not a person who takes advice from others. Well, that and she’s cheap. Therefore she didn’t hire an editor of any kind… Come-on girl, even Stephan King uses editors.

The cover of this “Harry Potter kind of series” should have a big red “watch for falling cliches” label on the cover.

It has a pirate queen. She’s from Ireland. Her long time bestie is from Scotland – handsome and charming of course.

Que unrequited love.

Then there’s that bit about this pirate being someone special, but not knowing anything about her parents. -Shades of “Star Wars.” I know they weren’t the first, but they made the most money doing it.

This is followed by seven magic orbs that the bad guy already knows about. -If the bad guys are so damn smart, why do they always lose?

STOP YAWNING! Now pay attention.

It’s self-published at a press I’ve never heard of and can’t find any mention of in Google. It had proofreaders, but no actual editor(s). Except for correction of a couple of misspelling and a bad line break this is a first draft.

Next, it’s a large print trade paperback (8 1/2 by 5 1/2), with maybe a couple of hundred words on a page, with a total of 275 pages, selling for $14.99 on Amazon.

If she wasn’t someone I’d known for twenty plus years I’d never have paid that much for a skinny trade-paperback.

I can sum my review of this mess with the last line, “‘Impending war.!’ She uttered.” Okay, so it’s a young adult novel, right? Well, just ask any YA and you’ll find they’ve never used the word “impending” in their lives. A simple “War!” would have been more effective. ‘Cus everyone knows that the last phrase predicts the future. So you don’t have to beat us over the head with it.

On top of that, it has to be the flattest last line I’ve ever read. Where’s the tension? Where’s the buildup to the next book? And why in the name of all that’s holy did she use the word “uttered?” Breathed, whispered, screamed, or any of a thousand other words that convey emotion would have been preferable.

But, having said all that. The absolutely most egregious offense is the cover art. The cover art creates our first impression of a book, especially a fantasy/ adventure novel, and I wouldn’t put something that bad on the cover of a child’s book.

I’m still trying to get through this thing and I got as far as page 9 when this description caught my attention.

“She stood almost six feet tall, muscularly feminine build with a mental presence harmonious with her appearance.”

“Harmonious with her appearance.” In a YA novel???

Mary, mother of God. Oh, nevermind. I’ll get through it… Someday, maybe.


Okay. Now on to real life. If you’re going to go through all the fuss and bother to write a your first novel, you need an editor or series of editors, especially if you’re going to self-publish. Because what your mind sees as you write is rarely what other people see as they read. (A mainstream publisher will provide the necessary editors)

There are development editors that look at your overall manuscript, meaning, characterizations, vocabulary, structure, and style. For your first book this is the guy you want.

Copy editors fine tune your copy. They check for consistency, grammar, fact check, anomalies, and the like.

And then there are proofreaders. They check for missing punctuation, grammatical errors, and even formatting.

Here’s a price list for independent editors on the Editorial Freelancers Association site.

And here’s a bunch of useful information on getting published by Blake Atwood over on The Write Life.

I found Reedsy, an independent publisher, via Barnes and Noble, and they offer a number of useful services. None of them are free, but you get what you pay for.

I’ve been writing, editing, and proofreading my own copy and the only sign of improvement is that I now get rejection letters instead of being ignored.

At the end of the day only you can decide if you’re willing to pay or not. But while I think hiring an editor(s) is a good idea, there’s no guarantee they’ll get you published by a mainstream publisher. And while there’s no guarantee you’ll ever sell anything, no matter how well edited, if you self-publish. But I can pretty well guarantee that if you don’t get somebody to edit your copy, you’ll have a problem child on your hands.

I’m sure there’s someone out there who’s getting along just fine without ever having anyone else read and critique their work, but I’ve never met them.

And for God’s sake get some decent artwork.

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