My view of the world
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Our Genius of the Week Award Goes to….

This dude in Austintown Ohio, who, according to The Vindicator, called the cops….. on himself.

It appears that he was smoking some dank and it got the best of him. When he could no longer feel his hands he panicked and dialed 911.

When the cops arrived they found him laying on the floor in a fetal position, groaning and surrounded by Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish and Chips Ahoy cookies.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, he handed the nice policemen the keys to his car, giving them the legal right to search it. So they did; finding rolling papers, roaches and a jar full of marijuana. –So far no charges have been filed.

The lack of charges is understandable when you consider how difficult it must be to fill out all that paperwork when you’re laughing so hard you keep falling out of your chair.

Okay boys and girls:

    It’s not going to kill you.
    The high won’t last forever.
    And if you can think clearly enough to remember how to dial 911, don’t, you’re fine.
    Just get comfortable and concentrate on slow, even breaths.
    –This breathing exercise won’t really change anything, but it will keep you focused on something besides the unintentional low earth orbit you found yourself in.

And pass that dank on to someone who hasn’t been clean and sober since 1965. –Pretty please.

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Another Day in Paradise

It’s my Monday:
Have you ever had one of those days when trying to sleep in would just result in the ceiling falling on you?

I got up this morning and everything hurt. –So what else is new? But before I actually got moving, I gave in to weakness and let myself fall back on the bed “just for a minute”…. and the frame came apart. –I either need to lose weight or buy a stronger bed.

I got to work and everything was calm…. for about an hour. You know how they say that all good things come in threes. Well, we had three simultaneous failures. The wireless router we just installed threw a hissie fit, our primary server went intermittent and our DHCP server locked up.

This mess was caused by three different problems.

  1. We screwed up the configuration on the router. Just enough to cause headaches -mostly from me slapping myself on the forehead.
  2. The intermittent failure was caused by a bad cable end.
  3. And last but not least, Windows latest update confused the hell out of that poor defenseless server. -A hard reboot fixed the problem.

Nothing that couldn’t be fixed, but it’s just been one of those days. So as long as my head hurts anyway, I figured I’d install IOS 9.0.1 on my iPad. –This should be interesting.

Now there’s only an hour and a half left and nobody’s bitched for at least three hours, the other locations are now closed and I have a fresh cup of coffee. It’s a good day.

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Adult Coloring Books

One of the biggest fields in publishing is adult coloring books. No… Not that kind of “adult” coloring book. –Although I’m sure somebody makes one. 😉

These are very detailed, usually fanciful drawings, you fill in with colored pencils, roller pens or good old fashion crayons. The object being to keep you focused on something that will distract you and allow your mind to take a break, thereby relieving your stress.
a page from the owls coloring book

I discovered this because an old friend has enough stress that he takes his meds by the handful. –What else would you expect from the VA?
One of his nurses told us that she colors to keep her mind off the daily stress of her job. So I offered to buy him his first coloring book and colored pencils. He agreed to give it a try, but only if I did one first.

After much debate we settled on my doing the first page, and as you can see I’m making impressive progress. –Hey, it’s not my fault if deciding what color goes where, trying to stay within the lines and not leaving blank spots stresses me out. Then when I finally start to relax, it puts me to sleep.

At any rate I went online to see what was out there and found out that there are hundreds and hundreds of coloring books for grownups to choose from. Rather than hunt through that many choices to find the “right” one, I bought three or four of the top rated books on Amazon. As soon as they arrived I turned around and gave the number one rated book to another friend because there just no way he or I would do it. I can’t even tell you why, it just isn’t for us. I’d say it was a guy thing since “only little kids and girls color.” But that doesn’t hold up because we both agree that the owl book is kind of cool in a 1960’s retro kind of way. So who knows?

I wandered back to Amazon and started looking at titles. So far my favorite title is “Unicorns Are Jerks.” There’s even a comment saying that not all unicorns are jerks and that some of her best friends are unicorns??? I do hope that comment was done tongue-in-cheek. But knowing some of the people I’ve met it might well have been serious.

The problem with the book –according to someone I know who bought it– is that the title is great, but it’s only 18 pages of simplistic drawings so it doesn’t keep you occupied long enough to be a very good stress reliever. -Oh well, I guess I won’t be buying it, but I still love the title. 😉

Another favorite title is “Color Me Drunk.” –Nuff said.

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DOJ Says Fuck Your Rights

This should be read while wearing jackboots and listening to Wagner.

According to an article from High Times:

While former Attorney General Eric Holder said at the beginning of 2015 that the Department of Justice (DOJ) had taken measures to prevent state and local police departments from seizing money, cars and other personal property without first charging a drug suspect with criminal activity, newly released documents show this move was nothing more than lip service to temporarily appease the opposing forces of unchecked police authority.

A series of documents obtained by the Institute for Justice reveals that the DOJ has teamed up with the Treasury Department to bribe state law enforcement groups to oppose any effort to change the way the civil asset forfeiture laws operate in their state. If they fail to comply, and the state does pass reforms to this system, the federal government indicates that it will strip away the federal funding the state has been receiving through the Equitable Sharing Program.

Because of the very substantial loss of funding should they decide to stand up to the feds, California killed Senate Bill 443 that would have changed the seizure laws.

So much for innocent until proven guilty. Now it’s guilty until proven guilty.

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Seeing Spots

This is what happens when your mind wanders back to 1968….. and stays.

The building belongs to Pioneer Loan and sits at the corner of Sahara and Valley View.

Two shades of green with orange pillars may seem a bit over the top.

–Until you look at the orange dots on the side of a green building.

Yeppers. They actually paid somebody to do that.

–Cue the Bellamy Brothers, He’s an Old Hippie.