People Watching #4 -BB

BB is addicted to surgeries and ink. This girl has had enough surgeries, boobs, butt, tummy tuck, lipo and so on, to have her own reality TV show. The bad part, aside from the scar tissue, is that she didn’t continue to diet or exercise so she gained back every pound they sucked out and then some.

As far as her ink goes she’s working on a sleeve but she’s only got the outline finished. -She can’t afford the rest and it’s pissing her off that two of our other girls have their bodies half covered with finished ink.

In addition to her personal problems, she’s not exactly the brightest bulb in the chandelier. She called here to have someone do a payment because she couldn’t reach her printers. This broken computer was caused by her going through the network instead of her local printers. God only knows where her stuff printed out. We know it’s somewhere within our network but we can’t begin to guess where. –I think I’ll make one of those lost puppy posters you see on phone poles only I’m offering a reward for the return of her contracts.

Then, while Mikey was up there, she complained that she couldn’t do her bookkeeping because we moved it. Once again it was on her machine and she was wandering aimlessly through the network. –She’s been in charge of that office for several years and doesn’t know where her books are??

After a little research, meaning, with an office full of women, I just mentioned what the problem was and waited for the gossip to get back to me. –I discovered that another employee has been covering for her by logging on via the remote desktop and doing the books.

Well, what can I say? I mentioned this to my boss’ and all they could say was; “You know how she is, she’s on an off/on switch.” (Ok, so how do we flip the switch back on?) “Besides she’s at our slowest office so how much damage can she do?”

The other IT guy and I have decided that neither of us is going all the way across town unless someone can prove to us that there’s something broken besides that loose nut between the back of the chair and the keyboard.

People Watching #3 LC

LC loves to cook and she’s never made anything I didn’t like. But when her daughter started asking how much of what went into her salsa rojo it bothered her. Not because the daughter might screw it up but because it was a sign of independence and LC is honestly worried that the children won’t need to rely on her as much. –Of course not owning a measuring cup it makes easy to keep recipes “mostly” secret.

To me this is very strange because my mother used to tell me how glad she was that I was independent enough from a fairly young age that she could leave me to my own devices rather than have to wait on me hand and foot.

Anyway LC loves children and when her oldest told her that she didn’t need to be married to have children it secretly made her happy. It seems LC wants another baby in the house. Yeah she’s one of those.

According to her, all children are cute, wonderful and infinitely entertaining. –We won’t discuss the fact that they cry -loudly, you lose sleep because they need to be fed at ungodly hours and when you feed them there’s a very good chance that they’ll puke on you. And then just as you settle back into bed they start crying because they need their diapers changed….. Etc. –Okay, so some people are better equipped to raise children than those of us who are reasonably sane.

About the only thing that really bothers me about LC is that she’s a drama queen. Everything that upsets her is a big deal and somebody needs to be flogged. Never mind what the problem is, somebody needs to be punished.
Well that and the fact that she can say bad things about her little darlings but God help you if you repeat it.

People Watching #2 – SB

Do you have an office “instigator?”

In an office full of women, our instigator, I’ll call her SB, stands head and shoulders above the competition.

She’s one of those people who spreads gossip but only after twisting it to do the greatest amount of damage. If she can’t find a nice juicy rumor to suit her mood she will make something up out of whole cloth and then look you in the eye and swear you said or did whatever lie she made up.

Her goal seems to be to break-up as many friendships as she can in the shortest possible time, while inserting herself in to the middle of the mess with the ever popular “I’m only telling you this because I’m your friend.”

My personal favorite is “somebody’s talking about you, but I can’t tell you who it is.”

In other words, if starting shit was an Olympic event this bitch would have to rent a storage unit for all her gold medals.

She does this while claiming to be a “good christian.” And I swear she doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong. –Can you say delusional?

I was looking for something amusing to say about her but there’s nothing amusing about anyone who’s just plain evil.

To sum up my feeling about this bitch; She’s completely heartless and if she got hit by a bus, I’d rush over and make sure the driver was ok.

–So it’s time for me to stop now.

People Watching #1 – DJ

I’ve decided to do a people watching series starting with some of the folks I work with.

None of this is supposed to be mean or a put down. It’s just that I’m highlighting their more interesting traits, and yes I will eventually turn the spotlight on myself. I’m just waiting for a fool.. I mean a volunteer who’ll give a fair but cold blooded edit of my notes.

I’ve known DJ for a bit over 10 years, she’s been with the company something like 20 years, with the increased responsibilities that sort of longevity brings.

DJ’s a sweetheart who goes out of her way to get along with everybody, and no matter what the job she always gives it her best. But ya know; she’s not exactly the brightest bulb in the chandelier so anything new presents a bit of a challenge and usually requires more than a bit of hand holding.

Now the fun part:
After you’ve known her a while you begin to notice that on her good days she’ll remember everything that happened 10 years ago with absolute clarity, just like it was yesterday. But the likelihood of her remembering what happened yesterday with the same clarity is a little problematic.
–Nope. I’m not joking.

She’s also prone to mood swings and can go from happy to bitch at the speed of light, then go right back to being happy like nothing ever happened. Or she can crash straight into serious melancholy with no advance warning.

Then, just when you start to adapt, her “happy days” hit. That’s when her hormones go completely wonky and all bets are off. Maybe she remembers what you said and maybe she’ll argue with you swearing you never told her anything. And sometimes even as you’re talking to her she’ll completely misunderstand your point and then swear you said something entirely different that what you actually said. –Which means you have to start over from the beginning, remembering to speak slowly and use small words.

Combine her selective hearing and her selective memory with her mood swings and you can understand why, as much as I enjoy her company, I’m eternally grateful that she’s somebody else’s problem.

On top of all that DJ’s only in her early forties, but she seems to be starting an early menopause, complete with hot flashes, which is a family trait.

Unfortunately another family trait is mild to extreme dementia. Evidently her grandmother started showing signs in her early fifties and her mother was even younger so there’s a good chance it’ll catch up with her fairly soon. This scares the living piss out of her and probably contributes to her current mental state. –She’s not alone. As much as we love her, the thought of her getting even twitchier isn’t doing much for the mental health of the rest of us either.

Never Try to Out Crazy a Pro

I found this old post via the way-back machine

Beijing China:

Chen Fuchao was depressed about owing some $290,000 after a business venture failed. Because of this he found himself standing on a bridge for several hours vacillating between jump and not jump, when another man walked up to him, shook his hand and pushed him.

66-year-old Lai Jiansheng was pissed at Chen’s “selfish activity” because the police had blocked off the area and traffic had been tied up for at least 5 hours. So he decided to give the man a hand.

“I pushed him off because jumpers like Chen are very selfish. Their action violates a lot of
public interest,” Lai was quoted as saying by Xinhua. “They do not really dare to kill
themselves. Instead, they just want to raise the relevant government authorities’ attention to
their appeals.”

The paper (Xinhua) said he(Lai) had been on medication for “a mental illness” for decades and had been on his way to a hospital for his pills.

BTW: Chen Fuchao was only 8 meters up and received relatively minor injuries when he landed on a partially inflated rescue bag.