Future super hero in training at the park

Future super hero in training.

I know I’ve posted this before, but I still think it’s funny.

This is just some guy I saw at the park. But these photos clearly demonstrate why it’s probably a bad idea to go to a public park by yourself if you’re going to practice, whatever the heck he was practicing.

Future super hero posing right.
hero pose right

Future super hero posing left.
hero pose left

Future super hero forward stretch (probably best left to super models.)
hero pose

Future super hero realizing he’s been caught on camera.
hero pose 2

A final thought: in a public park you have no reasonable expectation of privacy. So think before you pose… Just saying.

Hanging With Old Folks

I’ve got to quit hanging out with old folks.

I just shut down selectivelysocial.com because the guy had a heart attack last night and isn’t going to need it anymore. -At least not until I start believing in ghosts.

He was feeling fine, he went to bed and he didn’t wake up. –I suppose that’s a better way to go than most, but it sure upset his wife.

I’d only known him for 20 odd years and in spite of the fact that we only talked whenever we ran in to each other, which could be only every couple of months, I’m going to miss him.

It’s funny that only seeing each other few times a year didn’t bother either of us, but his wife, being a lot more social, kept trying to get us to do more things together. Sometimes it worked, but mostly these things involved dealing with people we didn’t know, so most times it didn’t.

I had another dude I’ve known for 10+ years stop by this morning, he’s only about five years older than me, but his hearing is going and I have to remember to remind him what we were talking about just a few minutes ago. He’s not senile, but he’s easily distracted, and he’s starting to have trouble concentrating.

He’s still alert and aware of everything going on around him, but knowing he has a concealed weapons permit is starting to be a little worrisome.

And of course there’s the other worries that come with age.

My stepfather was in his early eighties when he developed Alzheimer’s. In less than a year he went from sharp as a tack to asking where his late wife was. And as I get older I’m not sure which bothers me more; the thought of dealing with someone who has it or the fear that it might happen to me.

All told, the biggest problem for me, is not just that I’m tired of burying friends. It’s watching them deteriorate, mentally and physically before they go.

So, I’ll try to remember the good times and force a smile through the inevitable depression, until it’s my turn.

People Watching #11 – Flaquita

Back to people watching.

Flaquita is 5 foot nuthin’, maybe 100 lbs soaking wet and pretty. She’s been with us since she first turned 18 and inspite of working with a bunch of women, she’s still a sweetheart…… mostly.

Yeah, she’s got a bit of an attitude. But at risk of overstating the obvious, I’ve never met a pretty teenager who didn’t have an attitude.

Having made the comment about “a bit of an attitude,” I feel like I need to warn you guys, most days she’s easy to deal with, but on her bad days she’s a full blown bitch.

What really amazes me about her is that she’s fairly bright, but my God, she’s naive. Let me put it this way: She and her current boyfriend have matching tattoos because they’re going to love each other forever and ever.
–Riiiight, “Happily-ever-after.” I’m absolutely certain that it happens. Just not in my little corner of the world.

Next fantasy:
Being a typical short person she wants a big ol’ truck or suv. Of course when she drives the family Expedition she complains about how much it costs to fill the tank and how often it needs to be done. –So she drives her little car. 🙂

Beyond that, you can add whatever cliche you’ve heard about teenage girls and you’ve got a pretty fair chance of being right.

Question. Do you ever look at someone and wonder if you were ever that young and dumb? –I certainly wasn’t. 😉

People Watching #10 – La Generale

La Generale is from the south of Italy, Naples to be precise; and trust me, there are plenty of good reasons the rest of Italy is just a little afraid of them.

In spite of being five foot nuthin’ she can be incredibly intimidating. Something about growing up as the only girl in a family of five, and in a male dominated society to boot.

All of her brothers were at least twice her size (no big deal, I once had a dog that weighed more than she does). But they still called her “the general” because she’s always been the one to give orders and she doesn’t take shit from anybody. –That attitude is probably why she’s the toughest, most successful negotiator I’ve ever met.

Her only failing is that she’s always shooting from the hip. I once listened to her lecturing the girls. She started out with whatever you do never-ever do “A,” and five minutes later she ended with, whatever you do always do “A.”

I’ve known her for more than a decade, she’s always had a short fuse and her answers always come straight off the top of her head. So I tell the girls if she yells at them she’ll not only calm down in half an hour or so, she’ll probably forget that she was yelling. And if they ask her something and they don’t like the answer, they should wait fifteen or twenty minutes, then rephrase the question. They’re sure to get a different answer.

–Yep. That’s my boss.

Insanity 101

This place is making me crazy(ier).

I work mostly with women and all of them gossip, add couple of full blown drama queens to the mix and things get even more interesting.

One of the women thrives on other people’s misery and goes out of her way to create problems.

One of the women is seriously anal about everything. She even has white carpet at home –a sure sign of insanity– and makes everyone leave their shoes in the garage.

One of the women is angry because she can’t go part-time and avoid dealing with the first two. She also bitches about it at least once a day.

One of the women whines incessantly because she’s trying buy a house, but she doesn’t have any money, and her husband, who lives in his own place, contributes nothing towards her expenses. She’s also trying to quit cheating on him. –I guess quitting cheating is a lot like quitting smoking. “It’s easy, I’ve done it lots of times.”

One of the women takes everything she hears -especially the bad stuff- and makes sure everybody in the entire business hears her slightly twisted version of events.

And then the boss-lady tells me one thing, somebody else another thing and tells a third person something entirely different. Then she swears that’s not what she meant and yells about everything that goes wrong from following her orders. It’s all that person’s fault because that’s not what she said!

I went over to get a cup of coffee and while two women were stuffing their faces with some sort of hard roll stuffed with cream cheese. In between the “so and so did this” and “so and so said that” they were comparing notes on diets??? –Only in a building full of women… Sigh.

I just got a text from one of our other stores about stuff printing on the wrong printer. I asked which printer she’d chosen and she said she never chooses a printer she just clicks through. Okay, so everything goes to the default printer. But that’s not the one she wants! So something’s wrong because she “never” has to pick a printer anywhere else!
–I guess all the other printers are psychic.

If I didn’t already drink this place would sure as shit make me start.