Thoughts 13 Jun 2007 10:54 pm

Disorder in the American Courts

These are from a book titled Disorder in the American Courts and is available at Amazon.com.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law!

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

2 Responses to “Disorder in the American Courts”

  1. on 08 Sep 2007 at 5:25 pm 1.Steve said …

    These are very funny… but I cannot find any book with the title of “Disorder in the American Courts” at Amazon.com, or anywhere else either…

  2. on 25 Oct 2007 at 2:26 am 2.lex von said …

    It’s called Disorder in the Court.

    http://www.amazon.com/Disorder-Court-Fractured-Moments-Courtroom/dp/0393319288

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