My view of the world

Former HP CEO has been charged with at least four felonys, but don’t worry, even if they go to trial and convict her, instead of just making a deal, she’ll go to Martha Stewart jail, not real jail. Real jail is for us peasants.

The staff of the Securities and Exchange Commission has notified Pequot Capital Management, a prominent hedge fund run by Arthur J. Samberg, that it will not recommend an enforcement action against the firm or its employees relating to an insider trading investigation.
The investigation was going along fine, until Mr. Aguirre wanted to get a statement from John J. Mack, now the chief executive of Morgan Stanley and a friend of Mr. Samberg’s. Instead of getting a statement Mr. Aguirre gat a pink slip.
The S.E.C. reversed its position and took Mr. Mack’s deposition in the case in July. Details of his testimony have not been disclosed.
Now with statues of limitations in play the SEC has decided not to prosecute.
“It’s exactly what I expected,” Mr. Aguirre said yesterday. “The S.E.C. has been pretending to conduct an investigation over the last few months and now they’ve stopped pretending.”
I knew I should have learned to play golf and joined one of those elite clubs in school.
The trouble is, golf is too damn expensive and those clubs have a selective door policy, no working stiffs allowed.

Top employees of a city-financed Bronx charity diverted hundreds of thousands of dollars for personal expenses like home renovations, furniture and the purchase of a Volvo and a BMW, a city investigation has found.
Mr. Rosen took $69,216 from 2001 to 2004, investigators said. (He was paid $249,611 in wages and bonuses in 2004.) Some of the money went for home furnishings, renovation of a beach apartment in the Rockaways and the purchase of a Volvo convertible. One $3,200 invoice for the renovation was billed to the city as payment for a “gang prevention workshop.”
Mr. Aulenbach improperly received $87,371 from 2000 to 2004, investigators found. (He was paid $185,218 in 2004.) The money paid for renovations of his apartment in Jackson Heights, Queens; a personal car, insurance and residential parking; and tennis expenses.
Mr. Rosen and Mr. Aulenbach agreed to make restitution of $38,575 and $32,363, respectively, and to pay a $5,000 fine each.
Let’s see, you steal $70k and you pay back $44k, you steal $90k and you pay back $38k, there are no criminal charges filed, and you get paid a godawful lot of money to do it. And they say crime doesn’t pay.

Integrity Security & Investigation Services and its owner, Edmund Edmister, will give up $2700, the entire amount the company earned from selling phone records and credit card transaction reports, the FTC said. The settlement also bars the company from obtaining and selling confidential phone and credit account records unless authorized by law or court order.
Ok, so crime doesn’t always pay, but evidently, you can commit a felony without being arrested, if you give the chump change back.