Rcnevada

Aging less than gracefully

Hardware Store Guitar

I know I’ve mentioned this hardware store Guitar before but I came across some photos that show more details.

Here’s the guitar.

Guitar that looks like the parts came from a hardware store

All that metal is sheet aluminum. And we mustn’t forget the light-switch rockers.

Rocker switches

Rt

Metal tabs

I don’t know what kind of pickups they are, but they’re kinda fugly.

Pickups

The sound is thin and, until I clean things, scratchy, but I think I’ll keep her. Doesn’t every guitar player want at least one seriously weird git-fiddle?

License plate readers

This article in the intercept on the use of License plate readers by HOAs should bother you — big time.

The readers are, for the most part, unregulated. Which means, that already nosy HOA, can now record and keep track of all your visitors, their names, their addresses, the make and model of their car, and all of your comings and goings. All without any sort court order. After all, they’re the HOA, and they’re not being nosy little tin-pot dictators, they’re trying to protect you… Ha!

In case your curious how they do this, here’s an example of how it’s done in the State of Nevada.

You can find a vehicle owner in Nevada if you know the vehicle’s license plate number. To do so, you need to conduct a license plate search through the Nevada DMV or third-party license plate lookup service. Before the Nevada DMV issues license plates, vehicle records and vehicle owner information are obtained from vehicle registrants and maintained in a database. Hence, by searching DMV records using a license plate number, it is possible to find the owner of the vehicle

Nope, I don’t think there’s a snowball’s chance in hell of maintaining your privacy without going completely off the grid. And then your neighbors, no matter how distant, will gossip about you, leading to some news program wanting to interview you. This in turn will tell the entire world where you are… So much for privacy.

Birders are weird

Birders are weird.

I was out at the wetlands and ran into a couple of birders discussing a sparrow they’d seen.

savannah sparrow on bush
One of my pics of a Savannah sparrow

It looked like a Savannah Sparrow, but one of them was pointing to a picture in his copy of Sibley and practically shouting that it was a bunting.

I pulled out my phone and snapped a pic then pulled up my copy of Merlin bird ID to identify the little bugger… It was a Savannah Sparrow.

This guy’s response was that the picture was no good and it was a “fuckin’ bunting.”

I asked if he knew what kind of woodpecker this was to distract him and get him to calm down.

ladder-backed woodpecker with head in hole
According to the park ranger, this is a ladder-backed woodpecker

He insisted that it was a sapsucker, not a woodpecker. He was wrong, but I certainly wasn’t going to argue with him. I simply thanked him and got as far away as I could without actually running.

The problem with Sibley’s is that the pictures are teeny-tiny artists’ renderings, not photos. -Not that photos that small would help my tired old eyes.

At the end of the day, birders are not always calm and peaceful, some of them are as wacko as anyone you’ll ever meet.

No wonder I hate to leave the house.

Hummingbird

I saw this little guy in the garden this morning and heard him happily chirping away as he moved from blossom to blossom on the bottlebrush.

Hummingbird

It’s strange that I’ve never heard a hummingbird chirp before. In fact, I didn’t know that they could chirp.

And the reason for this post? Well, the news is depressing, the pain is making me crazy, and the doctors I’ve dealt with lately are a bunch of gibbering idiots.

Rather than trying to find out why my legs are a fucking mess they sent me to wound care. Who now come to my house three days a week and change my bandages. Which changes nothing.

The system is such a rolling cluster fuck that they won’t give you pain meds without forcing you to jump through a bunch of hoops while trying not to cry.

The whole world is fubar and this little guy made me smile. So, maybe it will at least lighten somebody else’s day.

Bugs in the yard

Bugs I found in the yard. (I think I’ve been stuck inside for too long.)

Anyhow, I went outside to water what little grass I have and noticed an interesting bug… Yes, I said “interesting. bug” – God I’m bored.

At any rate I thought I’d post a few of the critters we tend to ignore… If we see them at all.


First we have a white praying mantis. Whether it’s an albino or just a normal variant I don’t know.

white praying mantis

Here’s a mantis that’s the traditional green color, but it’s only a bit over three quarters of an inch long.

green praying mantis

This little wolf spider is one of my favorite critters. It’s around a quarter of an inch long, but it can jump a foot or maybe a foot and a half at a time.

A lot of these are brightly colored, with blues or greens, but this one is brown on brown. It’s also too small to bite through your skin so it’s fun to handle.

tiny wolf spider

This tiny hunter is a cute little lady beetle that hunts things like aphids.

lady beatle hunting aphids
lady beatle

These are the same critters you buy online to help control garden pests.


And here’s a guy with ambition. This little ant rolled a seed that’s almost the same size as he is more than ten feet across the patio.

Yup, it was fun to watch… For about twenty seconds.

ant moving a seed that is bigger than it is

I know this is boring, but it showed me the need to get outside. Even if it’s only to breath the air.

Because even a little smog is better than sitting in the house with no sunlight and recycled air.


One last photo.

This guy is the reason I had so few critters in the house… Except, of course, for the ones he brought in.

Cat

If he looks kind of scruffy it’s because he was the only cat I’ve ever met who hated to be brushed.


TTFN

Self-published YA novel

Okay, so a friend of mine self-published her first in a series of YA novels. And I’ve been trying hard to write a glowing review, but that ain’t gonna happen.

I’m not going to mention her name or the title of this “greatest series of all time” to save her some pain.

The problem is simple. She’s not a person who takes advice from others. Well, that and she’s cheap. Therefore she didn’t hire an editor of any kind… Come-on girl, even Stephan King uses editors.

The cover of this “Harry Potter kind of series” should have a big red “watch for falling cliches” label on the cover.

It has a pirate queen. She’s from Ireland. Her long time bestie is from Scotland – handsome and charming of course.

Que unrequited love.

Then there’s that bit about this pirate being someone special, but not knowing anything about her parents. -Shades of “Star Wars.” I know they weren’t the first, but they made the most money doing it.

This is followed by seven magic orbs that the bad guy already knows about. -If the bad guys are so damn smart, why do they always lose?

STOP YAWNING! Now pay attention.

It’s self-published at a press I’ve never heard of and can’t find any mention of in Google. It had proofreaders, but no actual editor(s). Except for correction of a couple of misspelling and a bad line break this is a first draft.

Next, it’s a large print trade paperback (8 1/2 by 5 1/2), with maybe a couple of hundred words on a page, with a total of 275 pages, selling for $14.99 on Amazon.

If she wasn’t someone I’d known for twenty plus years I’d never have paid that much for a skinny trade-paperback.

I can sum my review of this mess with the last line, “‘Impending war.!’ She uttered.” Okay, so it’s a young adult novel, right? Well, just ask any YA and you’ll find they’ve never used the word “impending” in their lives. A simple “War!” would have been more effective. ‘Cus everyone knows that the last phrase predicts the future. So you don’t have to beat us over the head with it.

On top of that, it has to be the flattest last line I’ve ever read. Where’s the tension? Where’s the buildup to the next book? And why in the name of all that’s holy did she use the word “uttered?” Breathed, whispered, screamed, or any of a thousand other words that convey emotion would have been preferable.

But, having said all that. The absolutely most egregious offense is the cover art. The cover art creates our first impression of a book, especially a fantasy/ adventure novel, and I wouldn’t put something that bad on the cover of a child’s book.

I’m still trying to get through this thing and I got as far as page 9 when this description caught my attention.

“She stood almost six feet tall, muscularly feminine build with a mental presence harmonious with her appearance.”

“Harmonious with her appearance.” In a YA novel???

Mary, mother of God. Oh, nevermind. I’ll get through it… Someday, maybe.


Okay. Now on to real life. If you’re going to go through all the fuss and bother to write a your first novel, you need an editor or series of editors, especially if you’re going to self-publish. Because what your mind sees as you write is rarely what other people see as they read. (A mainstream publisher will provide the necessary editors)

There are development editors that look at your overall manuscript, meaning, characterizations, vocabulary, structure, and style. For your first book this is the guy you want.

Copy editors fine tune your copy. They check for consistency, grammar, fact check, anomalies, and the like.

And then there are proofreaders. They check for missing punctuation, grammatical errors, and even formatting.

Here’s a price list for independent editors on the Editorial Freelancers Association site.

And here’s a bunch of useful information on getting published by Blake Atwood over on The Write Life.

I found Reedsy, an independent publisher, via Barnes and Noble, and they offer a number of useful services. None of them are free, but you get what you pay for.

I’ve been writing, editing, and proofreading my own copy and the only sign of improvement is that I now get rejection letters instead of being ignored.

At the end of the day only you can decide if you’re willing to pay or not. But while I think hiring an editor(s) is a good idea, there’s no guarantee they’ll get you published by a mainstream publisher. And while there’s no guarantee you’ll ever sell anything, no matter how well edited, if you self-publish. But I can pretty well guarantee that if you don’t get somebody to edit your copy, you’ll have a problem child on your hands.

I’m sure there’s someone out there who’s getting along just fine without ever having anyone else read and critique their work, but I’ve never met them.

And for God’s sake get some decent artwork.

Scrivener

I’ve pretty much decided that Scrivener 3 for windows is dead in the water so I’m off to find an alternative. Preferably an alternative that doesn’t have the learning curve that Scrivener has.

Mostly I write with whatever word processor I feel like using. But I also keep notebooks, file cards, and loose sheets of paper with character references and world descriptions. As a result, no matter how often I clean it, my office looks like I’ve never touched it.

My current filing system is stacks of papers and folders so I have to work to remember where I put one of my references. While it’s a great excuse to take a break, it also breaks my concentration. Which makes it a bitch to keep focused.

So, I’m off to find something to keep me organized.

yWriter is a free (you can register it for a fee that’s mostly to keep the author in business), one man operation, with only windows support. What yWriter does differently from other writing software is that it breaks up your great American novel into scenes instead of chapters. This gives you smaller chunks so work with but it doesn’t work well with my mind set.

So I next tried Final Draft, which is the screen writing software used by a bunch of pros. But it doesn’t lend itself to novel writing. besides, Final Draft 11 is $200 on sale. – Ask any aspiring author, that’s a lot of money if you don’t have a market to sell your book/script.

iA Writer is essentially a markdown platform, but it does give you a distraction free environment. What I found interesting is that it was difficult to find the actual sales page. – $29.99 plus tax for windows. Unfortunately I need more organization than it gives me.

Hey. Scrivener 3 is out. Yippy, dippy, hip-hip, hurray. I’m off to download it. With my discount it was $24.99 instead of $49. This is what they say about discounts:

Upgrade Pricing

The update to Scrivener 3 is free for users who bought Scrivener 1 on or after 20th November 2017. Users who purchased Scrivener 1 for Windows before that can buy Scrivener 3 with a 49% discount. The upgrade fee is the same for both the regular and education licences. Only users who purchased from our store, or from a reseller that provides activation through our store, are eligible for discounted update pricing.

Obviously, they don’t care about early adopters or spell checkers. – it’s “licenses” not “licences.”

If you’re wondering about these latest posts. Or any of my randomness, what can I say? I’m bored outta my fuckin’ skull… Does it show?

Writer’s advice

I am an aspiring author giving advice… And the truth be told, I’ve gotten so many rejection letters that I’ve quit saving them. Hell, I even got one from a friend who publishes anthologies. -At least that one wasn’t a form letter. But the advice I’m giving is still valid.

The rules are simple: Butt goes on chair. Words go on paper. The chair is optional.

Your first draft will suck, so what. Write it, then fix it, so you can really fix the next time, or maybe the time after that, etc.

Remember, you’ll never be Hemingway, Tolkien, Steinbeck or King. Those jobs are taken. But they are great teachers.

Make notes. I don’t care if you’re a planner or a pantser. Write down your ideas, or you will, like as not, forget them.

notes

And make detailed notes about your characters. After all, you don’t want your sidekick suddenly morphing into the anti-hero. Or the hero changing his/her height, weight, hair, bank balance, or language.

Take classes -a lot of them are free, or join a forum, where your fellow would be writers will cheerfully rip your best work to shreds. But then they’ll tell you why. That random publisher may not even bother to read it.

On that subject, somebody in that publisher’s office has the job of rejecting your manuscript, and your job is to convince them not to.

On the subject of forums; avoid those happy, happy, joy, joy places where everybody is kind, sweet, and supportive. They may be good for your ego, but you’ll never learn anything.

And be prepared for assholes. They just can’t help themselves. They rarely teach you anything, but they do help your ego develop callouses.

Writing flash fiction will help you learn how to eliminate unnecessary words and get to the point.

Writing short stories will help you find your voice without a fifty thousand word investment.

If you can, take the 50,000 word / 30 day NaNoWriMo challenge. It’s a bitch, but you learn a lot and have a chance to meet some interesting people.

The list of possible advice is endless and, at the end of the day, repetitive. But here’s the last bit for this post… READ! Read everything and reread the stuff you like. And WRITE! Often. If you don’t have a lot of time, write short stories, flash fiction, kids books, or blog posts. But write.

Writing is tough, with lots of competition.

library

Remember, all these people faced the same competition and eventually got published anyway. So, write.

As a side, and final note, there are lots of free images our there for things like blog posts. These photos are from Free Images dot com, one of my favorite sources for free, royalty free, images.

Plastic door handles

I own a 2005 Toyota Camry that has far more plastic than metal, just like any other modern car.

The problem is this. The other day I grabbed the door handle and pulled. And this is the result.

Broken door handle

Oopsie. I’ve never had a creak or groan out of the handle, until it decided to self destruct.

Well, being the genius that I am, I futzed around trying to get the bloody door open from the inside. Then, having given up on that I crawled over the center column and out the passenger side door.

Which, when you consider the fact that I’m 6’4” and 270 lbs, which makes me almost as big as the car’s interior, must have made for a pretty funny sight… I hope nobody saw me, or worse yet, had their phone out. – Because, if they did get a video, I’ll be a bloody internet meme.

But more to the point, something that didn’t occur to me until I was out on the ground, was that all I had to do was roll down the window, reach out, and use the outside door handle. (Go ahead and laugh. I did.)

At any rate, plastic may be light but it has a very limited life span. Fortunately you can find a lot of replacement parts on Amazon.

And if you need to replace the interior handle you’ll probably have to take the door apart. So my advice is to find a YouTube video on how to pull the door panel. -I missed two screws hiding under the bottom edge the first time through which was a real pisser.

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